It happens when you aren’t looking.
I mean, I know that I’m 32…but I think I’m still that lively 21 year old I was a few (cough) years ago.
And things are starting to happen that make me think and feel like I’m 32…or 93.
Like last week. My mother-in-law asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her.
It was a nice surprise that she wanted me to go. And it was really nice to get out of the house without the kids and have some adult contact for awhile.
Anyway. We were shopping at Sally beauty supply, and I mentioned that I wanted to dye my hair…cause of the gray ones….they were bugging me.
But I wasn’t sure what color to do.
Because it’s not really blond anymore.
So the MIL buys a box of color for her hair and it’s a 2-for-the-price-of-one so she gives me one.
I was apprehensive.
The color was “light brown”
That might be a big change for me.
And I am so not a fan of change.
But I took it and thanked her.
And set it on the china hutch and stared at it for a few days.
Brian asked me if I was going to do it.
I didn’t know.
I was askeered.
What if it really looks bad.
I’ve never had “brown” hair before.
I’m a blond.
So…I finally get the courage up to open the box and pour a ton of chemicals on my virginal, never-before-been-colored hair.
It looked dark.
However, my non-thinking-must-be-affected-by-the-dye-brain never bothered to register that my hair was wet and therefore will be darker.
So I waited the time the package said to wait.
I blow dried.
And I carefully walked into the bathroom to peer at my new hair color in the mirror.
Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was…..
Oh my. Hmmmm….guess I wasn’t that blond after all.
(well, some people who know me might argue that I am, indeed, the epitome of blond. But those people…well, I just won’t say. Be the bigger person and all.)
Turns out I have crossed the line from blond to light brown already.
And I didn’t need a box of dye to do it.
The gray hairs are gone though, so I guess some good did come out of it.
And I also realized something.
I think I will be one of those women who just don’t fight the aging process.
I’m not going to try to dress like I’m 14….I’m not.
I’m not going to try to cover my gray hair…I have earned that.
I am not going to worry about the laugh lines and crows feet…they just mean I smile a lot and that is a good thing.
I am aging, and I embrace that.
That isn’t to say I don’t long for the fit, firm, young person I used to be.
Why, just last night I was watching High School Musical 2 with M’Kayla, and I was literally jealous of those girls…and of my daughter.
She is so young and vibrant, has so much ahead of her, so much potential.
It makes me sad sometimes that really, that chapter of my life is long gone.
And even more sad that I didn’t appreciate it when I was smack in the middle of it.
But I think that is how life is.
I think we all look back longingly at our youth as we move onto the next phase of our lives.
When I am in my 50’s (God willing), I will probably look back at 32 and wonder why I didn’t take full advantage of this stage as well.
But for now, I’m going to embrace my light brown hair.
And the way my hands are starting to look “old”.
And the wrinkles around my eyes.
And laugh like crazy in 10 years when I realize that I was worried about these things at all.