I didn’t sign up for this…


No. Really.

I do not want to head up the block watch.

I don’t want that responsibility.

But I guess it is mine.

Yesterday there was an incident with some boys who live down the street.

They are a nasty lot.

The little asses.

Obviously never parented.

Just basically a bunch of jerks.

So I call to report it and while I’m reporting it, the lovely lady says “you should start a block watch! You seem to be interested in keeping your neighborhood crime free.”

Well duh.

Of course I don’t want crime around here.

And if the landlords around here would stop allowing the scourge of the earth to rent their apartments, we wouldn’t have crime on my street.

But since they keep renting to the idiots and since I, evidentially, am the only mom on the block who isn’t afraid to stand up to these punks (yes, one of the parents actually said she was scared of them. wow. ) I guess I am the newest candidate for block watch captain.

I am not a leader.

I am not “captain” of anything.

I’m a fade-into-the-shadows kind of gal.

I’m happy there.

But I guess I have been called.

I guess I have been called to stand up and say…loudly…that we won’t tolerate this kind of crap around here.

And if that doesn’t work…I suppose I could go clean my hubby’s gun on the front porch.

(oops..probably shouldn’t mention guns..might get expelled.)

Of course, there is always the option to move.

To Montana.

To the middle of nowhere.

Where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous.

Where we wouldn’t have neighbors.

That sounds like a plan.

I really have started to dislike mankind.  And if they make me this sad…I can only imagine how disappointed God is.

Betcha about now he’s wishin he hadn’t made that promise to Noah.


But I guess that until I win the lotto and can afford to move, or the neighborhood idiots grow brains and start controlling and teaching manners to their kids, or God decides that he’s had enough and wipes us all out…I will have to be content with organizing and heading a block watch.

I will watch my block.

And never, ever again will I buy a house within a mile of a rental unit.

Lesson learned.


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