sick kids and videos.

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Today has been a fun day.

No, really.

I love giving meds and wiping noses and rubbing vicks on chests and saying “cover your mouth when you cough!” over and over and over…

and over again.

It just makes me want to squeal with delight.

really.

And the icing on the cake??? Sick-going-to-infect-everyone-within-10-miles boy’s dad called me today to let me know he wasn’t going to school. (I take him)

Me: Hello?

Sick boy’s dad: “Hi there…I was just calling to let you know that typhoid timmy won’t be going to school today..he’s sick”

Me: Oh, ok. I figured he was sick, he shared with us over the weekend. Hope he feels better soon though!

Sick boy’s dad: (laughing) Sorry! I guess he should have stayed home.

Me: (thinking) Ya think?

Me: That’s ok…thanks for calling.
*click*

I think it should be legal to do that V-8 head smack thing they do in the commercials. It should be perfectly legal to boink someone in the head when they do or say something completely idiotic.

Anyway.

My babies are sick. And they are keeping me hopping. Poor little things. :.(

And there is a video here.

I want to watch it…I really do. But I don’t know if I can.

It is a video of Mike’s funeral.

It’s hanging out on top of my monitor (yes, we still have one that is wide enough to put stuff on…read the post about living within our means and then point and laugh. Dave Ramsey would approve of our old, big, clunky monitor…so there!)

I need to watch it so I can send it back to my aunt.

But I just don’t know if I can.

I am a coward.

Up till this point I have been able to ignore the fact that he is really gone. I mean, I know he is…but it isn’t really real.
Does that make any sense at all????

But I guess it’s time to face it.

I wanted to watch it alone..but the kids (mostly M’Kayla) keep begging me to watch it.

I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

I am a coward.

I do know one thing….there is a deep hatred for Cancer lying within my oldest child.

We were discussing our neighbor lady this morning…she died shortly before Mike….same thing, lung cancer.

Clayton got really quiet and I asked him if he was ok.
He just kept his head down and mumbled.

“I hate, hate, hate cancer.”

All I could say was “Me too.”

I hate cancer…I really do.

And I hate that I’m a coward and can’t seem to watch this DVD.

I guess this weekend, I will gather my little sickies around me and sit with my big, strong, rock of a husband and just watch it.

I will make it ok to cry…something I rarely do.

I will make it ok for the kids to ask questions.

I will officially say goodbye to my Uncle.

It will be hard, but I can’t keep putting it off.

Video’s need to be watched.

Reality needs to be faced.

Healing needs to begin.

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