Who’s idea was it anyway to make the most joyful holiday of the year the most stressful???
I want to find that person.
I want to kick them in the shin.
Not nice, not nice at all!
So, I’m stressing.
(well thank your lil’ pea pickin heart for asking!!)
Let me count the ways:
- I need to mail out cards. Christmas cards. For which I need a photo. Now you may say “that’s easy..just head to the local W-A-L’mart and have em snap ya a picture!” To you I say you don’t know me that well. I take my own photos thank you. And the gals at the wally world just can’t center a subject in a photo to save their lives. Trust me, I’ve given them plenty of chances.
They. just. can’t. seem. to. get. it. right.
So…I tried to take a good “family” photo. I tried to do it by the fireplace. The whole fam-damily by the fire.
I don’t even have any mistake photos to share because I never got that far. Before I even wrestled my settings into something that just might help me catch a good indoor shot, (which I must tell you is still illusive to me..someday I will learn) the family was in meltdown mode. Kids knocking things over, poking each other. Dad yelling at kids and trying not to cry when the 100 pound labrador stepped on his foot. It was chaos.
I. gave. up.
No family photo showing the gleaming glow of family perfection this year.
I should have taken a real photo. That should become the new “norm”. I’m going to start a new trend…honest family photos.
I’m going to specialize in families where mom stays in yoga pants and a t-shirt all day.
Where dad is grumpy and unshaven because he just woke up and hasn’t had his coffee yet..and I’ll make sure he’s still lounging in his boxers and fuzzy, threadbare bathrobe.
Where the kids have food on their faces that no one can quite identify.
Where the pre-teen is in a constant state of “eye roll”
Where the little girls hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in a week…even though it was just brushed mere moments before.
And it will be imperative that one dog be actively sniffing the rear end of the other the moment I press the shutter button and snap the picture.
And bonus points if the other dog is sniffing the backside of the cat.
See how much stress that would take off of shutterbug moms everywhere???
I. am. a. genius.
Anyway…back to the photo.
I decided that I would omit the parents and pets and concentrate on the kids.
They, after all, are conditioned to posing like the gals on America’s next top model at this point.
I. have. trained. them. well.
So we trudge out to the porch because I have all but given up on getting the settings right for the indoors shot and dad appears to need a break before he ends up wearing kids for slippers.
It is cold. It is snowing. I demand smiles. They oblige.
But not until I convinced them that there was an invisible elf on my lens doing a jig and passing gas with every step.
(yes, my children are sick, they are amused by obnoxious body functions. We are so proud.)
I did manage to get a picture.
Actually a few.
None of them good enough to really share in a card.
(yes you do)
Now this one…this one would be great. If Ricky didn’t look pained and M’Kayla didn’t look stoned.
Ok, this one? Not too bad…oh, except for the neighbor’s garbage can in the background. And the fact that Ricky decided to go all “ballerina” on me and do a little spin…which started right when I pushed the button…and due to the low light and my out and out refusal to use flash…turned him a wonderful shade of blurry.
The garbage can I can edit…the spinning kid I cannot.
Ok, at first glance this one needs no explanation as to why it is not going to work. I mean, look at the dynamics in this photograph!
Clayton is obviously thinking of all of the evil things he’d like to do to his mom’s camera. (especially since his friends were playing football right behind him and he really wanted to go!)
Ricky is obviously really proud of something. What I’m not sure. But whatever it is, it has made his sister look at him with much disdain.
Or perhaps she is longing to play a rousing game of rock-paper-scissors with him, which he has flatly refused to do, which has resulted in her disgusted look.
No matter what…we go to the
This one is almost alright….almost. What IS that face my daughter is making????
Oh well..this one may just be the back up photo if I don’t get another. It is almost a good one.
I’m going to keep trying to get the photo I want.
That may mean that you folks will get your card sometime next july…but I’ll eventually get it.
That brings us to stress #2.
Which will have to wait for tomorrow…for now, I must tuck kiddies in beds and say prayers and kick back with a cup o’ tea and watch october road when it comes on in half an hour.
Ta-ta for now!!!