It seems like an odd post I know. Thanking the Lord on a blog. But right now I just want to praise Him in any way I can.
I have been scared lately.
really, really scared.
I haven’t been feeling like myself lately, so I went to the doc to see what was up. Doc decided to do some blood work and found that I had elevated liver enzymes.
He ordered an ultrasound.
At this point I got worried. The liver is not something you can live without. Could be there is something wrong..really really wrong here.
So I started to pray.
Then the doctor called and said the ultrasound was “inconclusive but they did see something” so they wanted to do a CT scan.
Now I was terrified.
I have never been so scared in my life.
I simply cannot tell you how horrible it is to know something is wrong but to not know what.
Of course, with my family history and the fact that I was a smoker and the fact that I do not take good care of myself at all, I was just waiting for the doctor to say “cancer”.
Then what would I do?
How would Brian raise the kids alone?
But I did what I had to do…put on my brave face, didn’t mention it to the kids, cried like a baby when I was alone. And died inside when my husband, face wet with tears, said “you are right” when I told him it was time to get some life insurance.
And then I let it go. I gave it to God. I expressed to Him that while I didn’t want to go down this road, if it was His will…I would accept that.
God heard me. He heard my silent prayers. He heard all of my questions. And today, He answered me.
I got a call from my doctor’s office today. I was dreading it to be honest. And for some reason, those nurses always sound so serious and down when they call…I was scared all over again.
Then she put me on hold. So I prayed, one last time for a good outcome…for some good news.
And I got it.
I do not have cancer! Turns out I do have a condition…a “fatty liver”
It’s not alltogether bad..but it’s not fantastic either.
I still have some work to do here. I have to get healthy, or this could get much worse. It can lead to some serious conditions.
But I am so thankful…so, so very thankful.
Thank you Lord. I have heard your message loud and clear and I will do my very best to take better care of me…so I can be here to take care of them.
Thank you Lord.