Happy freakin easter.


I am in a foul mood.
Ok, not foul….just sad.
it’s been a rough week for me.
i’ve been cold,
fighting with the hubby.
stressing about my oldest not doing so well in school.
my shift key is sticky on my keyboard so i can’t type right…and i can’t capitalize anything.
and then tonight….
tonight my mom called, wished the kids and us a happy easter..it was nice to hear from her.
She called back about five minutes after we hung up and told me that my granny had fallen down her stairs today…and had been in the E.R. all day.
I felt sick.
This is NOT fair.
She is not supposed to get old.
She is not supposed to become dependant on her kids.
I am not supposed to be so far away from her.
This is the first time ever I wish that I weren’t in washington.
i want to be there..with her.
I want to go to the park with her and take pictures of her with my kids.
I want to tell her how much I love her.
I want to cook with her.
I want to sing with her.
I hate that I’m so far away.
My biggest fear is that my and my children’s last memory of her will be going to her funeral.
That kills me.
I hate being broke…if I had any money I’d be there now.
I feel so stuck.
And guilty.
I told her, promised her, years ago that I would take care of her.
I want to keep that promise.
But how do I do that???
She won’t come here..and I can’t ask my husband and children to just uproot and move…especially when we are just starting to make it.
I am so mad.
I am mad at her doctors….
This woman has fallen twice in the last couple of weeks….she is complaining about her head feeling “heavy”.
Grandma…if you read this..take your ass to the doctor and get checked out.
Falling is not “a normal part of getting old” (yes, I know that is what you are thinking)
forgetting things is not ” a normal part of getting old”
Something is wrong.
please…please…go get checked out.

Ya know something…being a grown up sucks.


2 responses »

  1. (((hugs))) sorry about your grandma and i truly hope she gets back on her feet (no pun intended 😉 ) quickly…we can’t have you sad!
    and good luck with MMM – you can totally do it girl…! xoxox

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