I feel that feeling again….

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I said I wasn’t going to do it. I said I would never try out for another design team…I’ve been disappointed too many times.
Then tonight something happened.
One of my good friends sent me a little present in the form of a gift voucher to go shopping at an online store. (you know who you are…I love you…your the bestest friend EVER!!!!)
So I trotted off to said store for a little “retail therapy” and noticed they are taking applications for a design team. Hmmmm…..
“No” I told myself, “you cannot put yourself through this again..you cannot deal with the stress of another contest, the disappointment of not making another team, or the sadness of seeing good friendships go bad again.”
Did I listen to myself??? NOOOOOO. I clicked on the link. I know I shouldn’t have. But I did it anyway.
Then it happened…..I felt it. That little stir of excitement in my tummy as I read the requirements for the entries. That feeling of needing to see just how far I can push myself. (that is what these contests do to me..I push myself..I have done some of my greatest work under pressure)
I read it again….and again. I was battling with myself to just close the link and move on. But something is tugging at me. I don’t know if it’s the thrill of the chase, or the excitement of, for just a moment, thinking I have a chance.
I haven’t made up my mind yet. I may not even enter. I may change my mind tomorrow. I have, after all, sworn off design teams. I’ll give it 24 hours…I’ll see if the feeling goes away. I’ll follow my instincts.
No matter what I decide…it’s wonderful to feel that feeling again. I thought it was gone forever.
Thank you to my friend who bought me the gift voucher. You gave me more than just a gift of scrapping products….you made me realize that maybe, just maybe, I’m not ready to give up on the hobby I love.

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